She was alone before she knew what alone meant. In a house full of people— she was lonesome. Even when her mother returned— she was sent away again. A broken leg. A hospital bed. Nurses who yelled. She learned early: don’t cry, don’t ask, don’t need. She
Nothing you do to others disappears. He knew what to say. That was the first sign. Everything about him fit too well. The tone. The calm. The answers. As if he had studied what people expect— and learned how to perform it. Nothing felt loud. That’s why it worked.
Not everything that sounds intelligent is true—and most people don’t question it. They call it progress. Faster. Smarter. More powerful. And people believed it. Believed it would simplify everything. One system. One place. Something that grows with you. That was the idea. But look at it now. Five
I learned early. used to think something was wrong. Not with them. With me. Because nothing made sense. The way they spoke, the way they behaved, the way they delayed, the way they complicated the simplest things— it never matched the way my mind worked. I would ask a question,
We weren't supposed to happen — and we did anyway. It wasn’t typical or mundane. It was more than that. You were feeling neglected. You were feeling alone. Even with all your responsibilities, and your lack of control, you were craving contact—some kind of love. And there
Have you ever stopped to think that what you eat might be affecting your thoughts? Not just your body. Your actual decisions. Because let’s stop pretending this is separate. The connection between your brain and your gut is real. The gut-brain axis exists. And here’s something most
I Don’t Cry Over It Anymore I was a bearer of pain, disillusion, and betrayal. It came so often, so constantly, that at one point— it stopped hurting. Or maybe it didn’t. Maybe I just stopped feeling it. So I endured it. That pain made me build walls.
Letters from the Past. I didn’t deceive you. I didn’t lie. I did the opposite of what had been done to you before. I wanted a child with you. Not as a trap. Not as a mistake. As a wish. And I stopped myself. Because I knew your
Letters from the Past. You wanted to be near me before you ever knew me. You said you wanted to see me, feel me, understand what was hurting me— as if you could take it away. You called me a mystery. But you were the one already splitting your life
It kept happening— not always, but enough times to break me. I was not blind. Not confused. I knew what it was. Every “no” wasn’t loud. It didn’t come as a fight. It came as silence. As excuses. As absence where something should have been. And every time,
Letters from the Past It wasn’t love in any clean, healthy sense. It was a dependency. The kind your body builds without asking you first. When it was there, everything in me aligned. When it wasn’t, I felt it immediately—like something essential had been removed and nothing
We weren’t asked to be here. We all know that. No one gave us a choice at the beginning—no say in the moment we arrived, no control over where, or to whom, or under what circumstances. We entered a life already in motion. And then we were raised.